


What to Expect When Loki is Expecting, By Dr. V. DOOM

by PurpleMoon3



Series: Thor Kinkmeme [6]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Babies are Doom Kryptonite, Doom loves Loki, Humor, LPreg, Loki loves babies, Other, Tony regrets everything, but won't admit it, norsekink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3631113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMoon3/pseuds/PurpleMoon3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki gives birth during battle, much to Stark's horror.  DOOM is DOOM, and horribly smug about it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What to Expect When Loki is Expecting, By Dr. V. DOOM

**Author's Note:**

> This fill references [this](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/7418.html?thread=15593466#t15593466) prompt in which Tony forces Loki to go into heat. I wanted to fill that one as well, make it a kind of series, but my muse shrugged me off. So.
> 
> Original Prompt: Loki gives birth in the middle of battle, and much to every bodies surprise gets right back up and into the fray of it all, kid thrown over his back in a swaddle. And he kicks ass, because Loki is that hard core.
> 
> (Inspired by the woman through out history who did exactly that.)

**DOOM** had been skeptical when the Trickster first announced his condition. Not that Victor doubted Loki's word, in this instance at least, for he had read the lore and conceded to the idiom that ruled a grain of truth to every tale. There were so many tales of the Mischief Maker's children -and what terrible, fearsome children they were, Beasts of Legend and Mistress of Death- that if nothing else the stories showed that there was the _possibility_ of Loki becoming with child. And, indeed, **DOOM** had been present, and to no small extent an enthusiastic participant, of the events Stark's little gag gift had set in motion. It had been a most enlightening week, to be sure, and **DOOM** did not feel his time the least bit wasted. He had gathered more hard data on the Tricksters peculiar physiology in that handful of days than he'd done in _years_ , even if Loki had enough presence of mind after the fact to destroy most of Victor's samples.

No, what had concerned ** ** ** ****DOOM** ******** was his ally's ability to perform on any joint venture they may take together. Moody and unpredictable at the best of times, at least where certain Asgarians were concerned, Loki's new hormonal state had been a worry. ** ** ** ****DOOM** ******** did not need, nor could he risk, a partner as likely to break down crying, overcharge a spell, or refuse to assist when assistance was very much welcomed. Much to Victor's amusement and Zola's regret, when the Swede suggested aborting to prevent complications Loki suggested something that shouldn't have been physically possible, but with a little magical aide was. ** ** ** ****DOOM** ******** decided to let the matter rest: surely, Loki knew his own body well enough to determine how much was too much, and he had to admit some curiosity as to what, exactly, would pop out.

But as the months progressed and Loki began to show, a body that was once all hard, aristocratic lines becoming soft and round, leather armor replaced with lighter, looser fabrics and no clear lightning of the villainous load **********************DOOM** 's ********************misgivings began to grow again.

Had Loki been his subject instead of his partner, ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ****DOOM** ************************ would have insisted on the expectant mother-man taking maternity leave.

Yet, what grated most on ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ****DOOM** 's ****************************nerves were the comments. Stark seemed to think the whole thing was hilarious, and had recently begun to snipe on Loki's recent weight gain. He seemed to think it was due to Loki soothing the sting of his defeats -and really, just how was the Iron Man to know how the Trickster's mind worked, which battles were mere distractions to a larger goal, and which were simply a means of releasing pent-up energy and aggression- with gallons of chocolate ice cream like a teenage girl who had been dumped by her boyfriend. This sometimes caused ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ****DOOM** **************************** to wonder who Stark cast as the boyfriend.

Loki's condition was entirely Stark's meddlesome fault, though the offended party didn't seem to care one way or the other. Were they all such fools? Perhaps not. ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ****DOOM** ************************************ had observed silence on Loki's foster-brother's part, at least, and hammer swings with less force behind them than usual. Even the Hulk, who normally could not be swayed by anything but a pretty brunette, had taken to watching Loki with what might have been contemplation before switching the target of his rage to whomever Loki had partnered with at the time, or the local landscape.

But despite it all ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **, **DOOM** **************************************** had expected Loki to know when to stop. To say, _This is a bad week, do you have a midwife I could borrow?_ and then they could take care of whatever slithered, crawled, hopped, or ripped its way from Loki's womb and get back to business.

Watching Loki freeze in mid-hover, a spell on his fingertips as his pupils blew wide and something that was not blood drip from between Loki's thighs, ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ****DOOM** ******************************************** had to conclude that such thinking was faulty. Loki hated being told what to do; even if it was his own body doing the telling.

Still, Victor couldn't help the rage that poured into his veins, adding fuel to his own energy reserves, as his... _his_ took an arrow to the shoulder and went flying through the wall of a convenient department store. Little snippets of spells whirled through **************************************************DOOM** 's ************************************************mind as he twisted his hands to make a street lamp into a murderous golem that would occupy the Archer and the Lady while **************************************************DOOM** ************************************************ dealt with the _Stark_. He would _enjoy_ ripping the iron exoskeleton from the weapon-smith's body to see how they both ticked.

Rage turned to a niggling thread of fear when Loki did not immediately climb out of the rubble.

* * *

Loki sat in a nest of concrete and dust, blood leaking from his shoulder and his forehead, watching as the world rocked back into focus and his insides fought a minor civil war. There was a ringing in his ears, or possibly it was outside his ears and caused by a metal helmet being repeatedly bashed in by a metal fist, and he felt rather nauseous. But it wasn't as bad a Sleipnir had been -footling presentations with eight feet could take _days_ \- nor as long as awkward as Jormungand's. Aesir bodies, even Jotnar masquerading as Aesir bodies, were not meant to pass baby-sized eggs.

Loki clenched his teeth as another contraction ripped through him, and he knew that if he asked the little bundle of ill-timing for five more minutes the answer would have been a resounding _No_.

So Loki swallowed, slipped on a bit of rubble as he tried to get a more comfortable birthing position, and hoped no one showed up to take advantage of his moment of weakness. He could feel the baby kicking, shifting, as he ripped the bottom layers of his battle robes into strips. He had to forgo the carefully placed and layered plate mail entirely, and by the time he was done Loki was covered in sweat and panting.

He gripped a piece of exposed rebar, warping the steel in his hands, to support himself as his entire body trembled.

Experience told him the baby was coming down fast, head first. A rush of liquid and then relief. Loki breathed, wiping tears from his face, and glanced at the creature that had fallen on the soft pile of ripped clothing. Loki was pleased to note she had her father's eyes.

The baby smiled a stupid little smile that had Loki cooing even as he wiped her down with deft movements and cannibalized a few more layers of his clothing to provide a sling. Tied snug against her mother's chest, giggling like a madwoman, Ericka von Doom entered the fray.

* * *

"Oh, god! What are, _what is that?!_ " Agent Hawkeye exclaimed, breaking through the red haze **DOOM** had lost himself to. Leaning back to avoid a thrown bit of car as his force field failed, **DOOM** scanned the battleground and shook in -not relief, **DOOM** did not entertain such soft emotions- justifiable rage as Loki, beautifully dangerous, unstable, _unpredictable_ Loki closed in on the surprised archer and returned his arrow.

Loki twisted, his movements subtly changed, and **DOOM** noticed the heavy cloth bundle the god carried with him.

**DOOM** 's lowered guard enabled the _Stark_ to throw him off, but the other man's armor was sparking with damage and not a few pieces bore the marks of being gorged out but mystically reinforced gauntlets. Headpiece beyond repair, _Stark_ had to fight to get it off, and when he did he stared at the oncoming trickster with a hybrid of fear and bafflement.

"Is that a baby? Where did he get a baby? Is this a hostage situation, now?!"

"YOU FOOL!" **DOOM** yelled as his… _his_ stopped at **DOOM** 's side, surreptitiously flashing the tiny, sorcerous gem the whole battle had been over before tucking it between the swaddling cloths, while **DOOM** wrapped one arm possessively around Loki's waist. "THIS IS **DOOM** 'S HEIR!! ERIC VON-"

"Ericka. It is a girl, Victor." Loki coughed.

"ERICKA VON DOOM!! WHO, NOT EVEN AN HOUR OLD, HAS SEEN HER FIRST GLORIOUS BATTLE THIS DAY!!"

**DOOM** then raised his hands as if preparing to blast the Avengers, causing all of them to tense and crouch so as to better dodge, but instead activated his emergency teleport taking Loki and his new daughter with him.

* * *

"Oh. My. God." Tony stated in shock as he was pried from his battered armor. Various SHIELD technicians were working on removing the various plates, some of which had been melded together during the fight. "Oh. My. God. _They're breeding._ "

"You do realize this PR nightmare is entirely your fault, Stark." Fury commented idly as he swanned into the room, commanding attention and respect with breath alone.

"My fault?!" Tony Stark, the Iron Man, actually squeaked as his teammates turned to glare at him.

"Indeed, Son of Stark." Thor rumbled as he gazed at something far away. "After your successful deployment of the machine to keep my brother occupied during your ruler's inauguration I informed Fury of the possibility that this might happen."

"B-but he's a man!"

"My brother is Jotun." Thor simply stated in the same tone he often used to say, _He's adopted._

"It was just supposed to embarrass him! Like when he hit us with that magic pollen that made everyone allergic to clothing! And why is Steve looking through a baby catalog?!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, back in Latveria…_

"Glorious battle? GLORIOUS BATTLE?! You sounded like THOR!" Loki griped while holding his child to his breast so she could feed. Unlike humans and Aesir, Jotun mammaries only inflated when they were nursing children.

**DOOM** was thankful that his mask hid blushes as well as his scars. "…I was caught in the moment."

 The End.


End file.
